The Bats & The Birthday
You wonder why the bats are suddenly a design feature for the growing tattoo? Well … because I got this email from a friend mere days after Xifey dropped the bomb. Reading it sent chills up my spine. I post it here with her permission.
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Dear Mafia,
Ever since you started blogging about the bats I’ve had this deep, strong desire to contact you about it, but put it off (”that’s queer,” “she doesn’t want to hear it,” “you’ll sound like a know-it-all,” etc. etc.) but now I can see that I need to tell you what I was going to say. It’s not too late to do so. I hope you can feel all the love and support and concern and respect that comes along with these cold, paltry words on a screen.
In my younger days I spent more than a decade studying the ‘neo-Native’ spirituality with Native American elders in both Eastern and Western traditions, but mostly with certified teachers of the Seneca Nation Wolf Clan. The grandmother-elder of this clan spearheaded the resurgence of animal totems through ‘medicine cards.’ The basic premise behind totems is that Native spirituality believes that The Divine is in everything, so that anything that comes across your path can be carrying a message for you from Great Spirit, particularly animals. Each species carries a general message related to its characteristics, as well as a specific message, usually in the manner in which it is conveyed.
The bat represents death, not in the literal sense, but figuratively - the death of an old way of thinking, of living, of being in the world. We must go back into the womb and come out again to be reborn. It’s a natural transition, one that’s necessary for ongoing life. Going into that black hole is terrifying, but once you’re in the process, there’s no way back; kicking and screaming only makes for a rougher ride.
The fact that these bats had left you sh*t that invaded and was destroying your home meant the contrary of the message - that there was some ‘death’ that was meant to be accomplished for your family that simply wasn’t being allowed to happen. You guys were just wallowing in old sh*t and making yourselves sicker by ignoring it or wishing it away or making it ‘cute.’ The bats kept coming into your house, trying to tell you to move through the terror and move on, to do the thing that you thought would kill you, but it was too late - the very walls of your structure, your relationship, were already festering and crumbling.
In the days to come, it may help to hold the energy of those initial messenger-bats with you as you walk through the dark cave of grief and loss. No matter what’s on the other side waiting for you when you emerge, blinking and wincing at the light, rest assured it will be so very much better than where you have been. Consider the cave your feelings create, and your very home itself, not just as a grave where you bury the old dead past, but as your own personal ‘womb,’ a place to rest, to process, to incubate. Don’t be afraid to walk the path - the bats will guide you through your dreams and terrors with their night-vision. Bats are able to fly high above the wreckage of human psychology and emotion to understand the objective and see the whole path of the process. They will show you the smoothest route to your rebirth.
…
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Today is Xifey’s birthday, and tonight will mark 28 days since the bomb. I gave up nail-biting in 1996, but I’ve started again, and my nails are chewed down to stubs. And even after a whole 4 weeks, there’s still a dent in my ring finger. Though the dent is less defined than it was a month ago.
29 comments October 13, 2007
