Mama says … « FemiKnitMafia

Mama says …

April 26, 2008

MafiaMom is visiting for the weekend, and while chatting this evening, she figured out that I stopped blogging. Then she unearthed my general discomfort that Xifey has “someone monitoring” the blog and my Flickr.

After hearing that, MafiaMom had words for me:

“[Xifey]’s been a negative force in your life. She stifled you, and controlled you and sent you down the wrong path. Don’t let her continue to stifle you. People should be free to be who they are, and their partner should support that individuality. If she doesn’t like the blog, that’s too damn bad. Tell her to put her big-girl panties on and deal.”

Apparently this conversation is over, because her next statement was, “I like J. Jill.”

[Oh look, there's a butterfly ...]

And while my mother snores in the next room, I’m still sitting here with her words bouncing around in my head.

Perhaps this gorgeous photo, from the Frida Kahlo exhibit at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, will inspire me to move through the world with a teeny fraction of the strength, fortitude, determination and self-possession that Frida did. May Frida’s cropped hair be my sustenance, while my mother’s words push me forward.

Entry Filed under: It's All About Me, Peeps. .

49 Comments Add your own

1. Sitcomgirl | April 26, 2008 at 1:12 am

Props to your mom! She’s right you know, they always are
2. Sara | April 26, 2008 at 1:18 am

I like your mom. A lot.
3. (formerly) no-blog-rachel | April 26, 2008 at 1:44 am

You clearly have an absolutely FAB mom! And (selfishly perhaps) I hope you come back to blogging regularly.
4. Mel | April 26, 2008 at 2:59 am

Yeah, listen to Mama. Besides, we miss you.
5. PainterWoman | April 26, 2008 at 3:16 am

Yay, Mom! Did you see the NYT article about exes blogging their divorce? Protected free speech.
6. M-H | April 26, 2008 at 4:28 am

I’m really glad to read this. I hate reading that people stop blogging because of what someone else thinks. The only good reason to stop blogging is because *you* choose to, not because you’re worried about what someone else thinks about your blog. I always assume that anyone in the world might be reading, and if they don’t like it or are reading it for some nefarious purpose that’s a big shrug for me.
7. Julie | April 26, 2008 at 4:46 am

It’s always difficult tiptoeing through an ex-relationship and it’s not a bad thing to stop and think about what’s best for you and your little guy but it’s fabulous to “hear” your voice again! Yay for Mom and her wise words
8. caroleknits | April 26, 2008 at 6:19 am

I like your mama.
9. CTJen | April 26, 2008 at 7:10 am

Your mom sounds very level headed, indeed. (((Hugs)))
10. Meghann | April 26, 2008 at 7:22 am

you have one SUPER smart mama!
11. Rhonda | April 26, 2008 at 7:43 am

Smart caring lady, your Mom. I like her!
12. Lucy | April 26, 2008 at 7:43 am

Go MOM! And be one with The Frida! She and your mom have a lot to teach us all.
13. Lisa | April 26, 2008 at 8:32 am

From one mom to another, she rocks! You are very lucky to have that kind of support. Absorb what she has said and let Spring provide you with the impetus to be reborn.

And, yes, we do miss you!
14. maryse | April 26, 2008 at 8:49 am

i like your mom and i like j.jill too.

although they’re a little pricey and sometimes their clothes fit weird.
15. femiknitter | April 26, 2008 at 9:04 am

Clearly, your mom rules and you should listen to her. (note: I’m not sure I can agree with her on J.Jill, though. But that’s another story).

Ahh, I’m so jealous that you saw the Kahlo exhibit! Yes, I live 15 miles from it, but I haven’t had a chance to see it yet. It’s going to be my treat once finals are over. Soon!
16. Suzanne | April 26, 2008 at 9:23 am

“… big girl panties …” MafiaMom rocks! Your hiatus gives you a chance to recast the blog, should you choose.

I’ll be at Gore Place in this afternoon. Though small, the festival remains dear because that’s where I met you and Little Man. Hope to see you!
17. Anne | April 26, 2008 at 9:38 am

Yay to your mom. We’ve missed you here …
18. Mary R | April 26, 2008 at 10:48 am

Sounds like your mom is really cool. Glad you’re back.
19. kat | April 26, 2008 at 11:22 am

MafiaMom rocks. And J. Jill ain’t so bad. Off to Gore Place….
20. Linda | April 26, 2008 at 11:40 am

I missed you! Be good to yourself and do what’s best for you and LM.
21. Britt | April 26, 2008 at 12:13 pm

LOL, though i never met xifey i have to say that it definitely seems like she wastes way too much time on trying ot make you miserable so you should def. show how un-miserable you are!
22. Danielle | April 26, 2008 at 12:20 pm

Welcome back, Mafia-blogger. What a nice surprise to see a post from you on bloglines while I am ~~procrastinating~~ taking a short study-break.
23. Thorny | April 26, 2008 at 1:43 pm

*LOVE for the MafiaMom!!*

(And not just because I miss reading you!)
24. Ruth | April 26, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Your mom is awesome. You should listen to her.
25. lindsey | April 26, 2008 at 2:28 pm

glad to see you back.
26. Jena (the yarn harpy) | April 26, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Glad to see you back. MafiaMom is right. Don’t give Xifey that power. She’s taken enough of your power from you… that b!+c# doesn’t deserve to stifle you any more in any way.
27. (Not-so) Cynical Knitting Gal | April 26, 2008 at 3:54 pm

In time, Mafia, in time. But don’t you love how Mom’s just change the subject post haste?

Welcome back!
28. LoriG | April 26, 2008 at 4:09 pm

I agree with your mom on all points!
29. Manise | April 26, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Amen to that! Good to see you back!
30. ErickaJo | April 26, 2008 at 4:43 pm

I’m so glad that your mom had this talk with you. I got a thrill out of seeing something from your RSS feed.

Will we see you tomorrow at Webs as well?
31. Emilee | April 26, 2008 at 5:19 pm

I’m really glad that you’re back.
32. caro | April 26, 2008 at 5:25 pm

Sometimes it takes hearing it from your mom for things to sink in. She’s a smartie.
33. Susan | April 26, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Your mom rocks! Don’t let Xifey stifle your voice. And I am jealous you went to that Frida Kahlo exhibit. . . now I really, really want to go to Philadelphia to see it.
34. Kellee | April 26, 2008 at 10:58 pm

I almost said this earlier on one of your photos, but held back. And now I can’t.

Your mom is SO fly.
35. greensparrowknits | April 26, 2008 at 11:43 pm

*first time commenter*
For what it’s worth, I got a little thrill when I saw your post pop up on Google Reader. Mafia Mom is wise, continue to listen to her.
36. Kelly | April 27, 2008 at 9:08 am

Hooray! Does this mean you are back? I really hope so. I miss your posts!
37. Kit | April 27, 2008 at 3:48 pm

It was good to see a post from you, and to see that you are feeling stronger in yourself. It was also totally understandable to avoid inadvertently handing her ammunition while you were in court. Life is complex.

I will be in the Boston area next weekend, and emailed you about it earlier this week.
38. roro | April 27, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Fantastic! Your mom is so smart. And, in the butterfly area, very similar to my mom…although I suppose those shirts wouldn’t make much of a Mother’s Day gift.
39. Emily | April 27, 2008 at 6:50 pm

Oh Hooray for moms! I love hearing your voice again.
40. Carry | April 27, 2008 at 11:58 pm

Ok, can I just say how much I love your mom??? Big girl panties indeed!!!

So glad to see you back hon, have missed you terribly!
41. Joan | April 28, 2008 at 2:05 am

Bravo to your mom.

I’ve watched my wife dealing with a very difficult ex. It’s taken time for her to get over the pain and the hurt, to get confidence again.

I wish you confidence and healing. May you be free to live your life and do things you want to do.
42. Kat with a K | April 28, 2008 at 8:23 am

Your mom is very wise.
43. Sarahfish | April 28, 2008 at 10:22 am

Wise woman, your mum… Big-girl panties! Ha! I liked her when I met her, but I like her even more now!

Feel free to be yourself. Being true to yourself and marching ahead leaving Xifey behind is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and being strong in spirit is one of the best things you can do for the Little Man. And yourself.

Let Frida help you out. Another strong woman, that one! *Big hug*
44. Krista M | April 28, 2008 at 12:20 pm

Know that whether you blog or you don’t your readers will always be around. I think of you everytime I pull up my blogroll, but I don’t think, “Jeez, is she ever going to write again?” Instead I think, “Man, I hope she’s doing okay.”

We love you and want you to be happy and safe. You do whatever makes you feel that way!
45. Stella | April 28, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Seriously. Your mom ’s a smart lady.
46. Kate | April 28, 2008 at 12:46 pm

Your mom is brilliant. There is sign in my office that says : put on your big girl undies and deal with it. Words to live by.

good for you for letting go.

can’t wait to see more bloggin’!
47. Beth S. | April 28, 2008 at 1:14 pm

I completely agree with your mom. Like the whole avalanche of commenters before me,
48. Lucia | April 28, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Yay MafiaMom!

But it is a fine line you are walking here. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t blog because it’s too personal, or politically sensitive, or someone else’s story. I’ve always admired your openness, but I know it can be very hard to be open-but-not-too-open. I’ve been trying (with some success) to share more of myself on the blog, so I’m working on it from the other direction.

It’s great to see you back! I’ll read every word, even if it’s just about knitting and cats. You don’t even have a cat, do you? Maybe you should get one.
49. Jenn | May 5, 2008 at 12:09 pm

Your mom is right. Plus, she obviously rocks.

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