3rd Blogiversary « FemiKnitMafia

3rd Blogiversary

February 3, 2008

My first was here, back when Cate & Carry thought I was a femmey butch. They might be right.

My second was here, while we were waiting for Wifey to birth the Surrogate Baby.

The third is today, which I spent teaching a dear friend how to spin (both spindle and wheel).

This day is celebratory. Three years of blogging. That’s big. In fact, that’s longer than most of my relationships. (whoah) But …

I have to be honest here. For the last couple weeks, I’ve been thinking about quitting. Before you decide to write crazy comments, please know that I’m not saying this to elicit “oh, please don’t go, we love you so…*” comments.

*extra points if you can identify that quote*

I started blogging in an effort to focus on the good in my life. I needed a place to write positive things, because life was hard and very disappointing. It worked. I felt happier and more content. Without a doubt, this incredible community kept me standing through some of the worst times of my life. But at this moment, I’m not sure where I’m headed or what I want.

Oddly, I am content for the first time in many years. The divorce was a blessing in disguise, and I’ll be forever grateful to Xifey and her next-door-neighbor-girlfriend for giving me an undeniable exit. An evil horrible exit, but an exit that showed me that I could survive a fiasco and plopped me into this dreamy life (which could be much dreamier if I was having lots and lots of crazy lusty sex with the beautiful women that constantly cross my path, but I digress…).

And yet, as I piece together this dreamy life, I’m not sure where/how the blog fits in. My attorney isn’t terribly happy that I have a blog (though she’s thankful that it’s completely anonymous). I’m quite sure that Xifey (or at least her attorney) is printing posts to use in court. It’s caused fighting and struggle and custody questions. If custody is actually at stake, there is no doubt that I’ll delete the entire 3 years of posting in an instant. [poof. gone.] As the blog has become more personal, I’ve lost a lot of my favorite readers, and I’ve gained new favorites. I’ve nearly stopped posting photos of knitting. I’ve stopped responding to comments. This is not the blogger I want to be.

This is all a long and depressing way of saying that as a celebration of my 3rd blogiversary, I’m going to take a break. ‘Tis a bittersweet celebration. It feels selfish to stop now, when I’ve received so much support from this community.

Please forgive me for being so selfish. Because I feel guilty about it, here’s some eye candy in the form of drafted Visions of Revenge, a Rabbitch stroke of genius.

Entry Filed under: It's All About Me. .

69 Comments Add your own

1. Bertha | February 3, 2008 at 10:41 pm

You don’t owe us anything. I’ll miss you while you’re gone and I’ll be thrilled if you return, but the quality of your life and family is of highest importance. Good luck with custody proceedings and everything else! xoxo
2. no-blog-rachel | February 3, 2008 at 11:14 pm

Oh I’ll miss you but I completely understand! Take good care of yourself and Little Man, ok?

*big hugs*
3. Hannah | February 3, 2008 at 11:30 pm

Where The Wild Things Are!

And I’ve only just started reading Perhaps I’ll meet you in reallife someday since we are in the same area….

Be happy and keep that boy happy too
4. Elinor | February 3, 2008 at 11:30 pm

OK, so here’s a possible solution. Start a new blog (anon, of course), email your fav readers, erase old blog. Xifey will never get a link to the new one, you’ll still be in touch with us and maybe the attorney will even be satisfied. That might be worth it even if custody weren’t an issue. Just cut her out. Do what’s best for you and LM though!
5. Mel | February 3, 2008 at 11:33 pm

Elinor’s actually got a good idea there. You certainly wouldn’t be the first. Either way, if a break is what you need, then a break is what you should take. Just remember there are a whole lot of us out here thinking good thoughts for you (and who want you to keep in touch).
6. carole | February 3, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Oh, I hear ya. The divorce drama cost me quite a few readers, as well. But I think of them as fair-weather friends, in the bloggy sense.
Come back when you are ready. I have taken an entire month here & there. I am just now getting around to replying to comments on any kind of regular basis.
Life, man. It isn’t easy.
7. Manise | February 4, 2008 at 12:14 am

Where the Wild Things Are! I had to close my eyes and repeat it a few times until I realized what it was! Read it to my 3 kids.

A very Happy Blogiversary to you!

In terms of taking a break. You have to do what’s best for you and LM in the long run. You know how to reach / stay in touch with us via e-mail or Ravelry. We’ll be here if and when you return. We’re not so easily gotten rid of you know
8. Rabbitch | February 4, 2008 at 4:11 am

Do what’s best for you and your boy, sweetie. We’ll be here when /if you come back.

And if not, there are many of us who wish to stay in touch. Don’t just, like, get in a cave or something, k?

xo
9. M-H | February 4, 2008 at 7:08 am

All the best. See you round.
10. PumpkinMama | February 4, 2008 at 7:09 am

I could tame you with the magic trick of staring deep into your (yellow?) eyes and making you keep blogging, but I won’t. You need to take what feels like the right path for you, so do it. I assume I’ll see you around the non-virtual world.
11. Britt | February 4, 2008 at 7:15 am

Good luck. Keep spinning
12. Brenda | February 4, 2008 at 9:06 am

Attorneys? Custody? Take a break, but come back after the dust settles.
13. Cheryl | February 4, 2008 at 9:07 am

I’ve been feeling the call of the blogless life lately too. Maybe a break isn’t such a bad idea.
14. CTJen | February 4, 2008 at 9:24 am

I know we’ve only just met in the bloggy sense, but I understand where you’re coming from and I’ll miss you! I’ll send you good thoughts and vibes for a quick and speedy resolution to untimely ugliness in your life. Hugs! -J
15. Justine | February 4, 2008 at 9:35 am

Dance as though no one is watching you,
Love as though you have never been hurt before,
Sing as though no one can hear you,
Live as though heaven is on earth
- unknown ( but some say it was Mark Twain)

Do you what you need, do what is best for you.
16. Stacy | February 4, 2008 at 9:39 am

I haven’t commented in a while, but I’ve been keeping up with you virtually (or would that be considered stalking?). Anyway, I’ll miss reading about your life. You’ve been through quite a lot and you are an inspiration.

Take a well-deserved break, but know that you will be missed.

Best of luck!
17. Suzanne | February 4, 2008 at 9:43 am

The quote? The monsters beg Max to stay. There’s more to say, but perhaps privately.
18. caroleknits | February 4, 2008 at 10:07 am

Only you know what’s perfectly right for you. I trust you’ll figure that out.
19. megin | February 4, 2008 at 10:37 am

Will miss the words and wit, but I know that this is another step in the journey of taking care of yourself and doing what’s best for you and your boy. Be well.
20. Kathode Ray Tube | February 4, 2008 at 10:39 am

I’ll miss your great posts but it will give me extra motivation to make it to knitting group on Thursdays and see you there. Good luck with all of it!
21. Haddy | February 4, 2008 at 10:45 am

Take all the time you need. We’ll still be here when you come back.
22. Em | February 4, 2008 at 11:15 am

You’re always a favourite read, but you must do what’s best for you. Be well!
23. Kat with a K | February 4, 2008 at 11:15 am

I totally understand your reasons, but I’ll miss you. Keep in touch.
24. Becca | February 4, 2008 at 11:23 am

The blog is for you, not us. Use it as you see fit. Besides, I know where to find you!
25. Kathy | February 4, 2008 at 11:25 am

But Max said “NO.” That’s my son’s (and my) favorite line in the book. He always giggles.

And if you leave, we will roar our terrible roars and gnash our terrible teeth . . . .
26. Kit | February 4, 2008 at 11:25 am

For the printout - I wish to state firmly that the Mafia is an EXCELLENT mother and that having a safe place to vent when under stress only aids in that. If she objects to this, perhaps Xifey would prefer to pay for a therapist?

Do what you need to. We are not important. Our thoughts and love are yours no matter what. And if you need or want, you may have my phone number. Just email. There is no way she can listen in on that.
27. Kathy | February 4, 2008 at 11:26 am

Okay, I just read the last paragraph. Take good, good care. Of course, I know where to find you!
28. Lucia | February 4, 2008 at 11:51 am

Happy blogiversary!

Please sail back to us someday! (That’s Taz’s favorite book. Not only did I recognize the quote, I can recite the entire text verbatim if you like. Or even if you don’t.)

Drop a line now and then, ‘k? Are you going to SPA? (I wish to fondle your fiber.)
29. Maritza | February 4, 2008 at 12:17 pm

You do what you need to do. We all understand. Taking a break sounds like it is in order, and if you decide to blog again someday, then that’s great. But if you decide that you don’t feel like it ever again, that’s fine too. You will be missed, but as I said, we understand. Actually, I hope that we can meet up for some knitting sometime in person, if you ever feel like it. Hope to hear from you and wishing you all the best.
30. Beth S. | February 4, 2008 at 12:22 pm

I hope you’ll still come by now and then to share the knitting and spinning news with us. It would be very hard for any attorney to demonstrate that showing us pictures of yarn and knitting is in any way detrimental to your parenting skills.
31. Amy | February 4, 2008 at 12:52 pm

I think quoting where the wild things are in a see-you-later post is completely, totally awesome. Do what you need to do, and if you decide you want to come back, we’ll be here!
32. femiknitter | February 4, 2008 at 1:07 pm

Well, you will certainly be missed. But whatever else blogging might bring, it is, essentially selfish. And if it’s not what you want right now–for whatever reason–then so be it. Here’s hoping you enjoy your break (however long it might be).
33. roro | February 4, 2008 at 1:14 pm

Happy 3rd blogoversary!! 3 years of funny, inspired, sad, beautiful, all-round great writing and equally gorgeous knitting shots is definitely something to be celebrated. There should be no guilt in taking a break. No guilt! As Amy said above, we’ll still be here if and when you decide to start up again.

However, if you do start having lashings of lusty sex with all the gorgeous women who cross your path, I’d like you to think about starting a new Femiknit Sex Romp blog or similar. Okay, thank you.
34. Kelly | February 4, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I’ll miss your blog! Just some advice — be careful if you delete the bog. Make sure it is really deleted. Cached pages can be saved in many locations — including Google. Best of luck to you.
35. Kathy Klinge | February 4, 2008 at 1:33 pm

You are one of my favorites, but this is YOUR life!!! You must do what is best for you. This is not being selfish, it is being practical. I will miss the blog if you decide to let it go, but ya gotta listen to William - To thine own self be true!
36. Rhonda the Stitchingnut | February 4, 2008 at 1:50 pm

ditto, ditto, ditto ….
37. maryse | February 4, 2008 at 2:18 pm

whatever everyone else has said. i think a break is a good idea. besides, i know where to find you.
38. Carol | February 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm

I’ve enjoyed your blog. Will keep sending good wishes your way.
39. Danielle | February 4, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Do what feels right. Follow your heart, and throw in a little logical thinking for good measure. You’ll know what to do.
40. Engranon | February 4, 2008 at 4:17 pm

You do what is right for you and all the rest will just fall into line. Of course I will miss you if you are not blogging. If you decide to just start anew, please drop me a line through our mutual friend so I can find you again. Otherwise, live your life. I wish you and Little Man all the best!
41. Jenn | February 4, 2008 at 4:48 pm

Good luck whatever you do. I’ll be thinking of you and wishing you the best. And ditto what everybody else says. It’s your blog, you can do what you like!
42. Mary R | February 4, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Happy 3 yrs of blogging.

Whatever you choose will be the right choice for you, break, quit blogging etc. Just remember there are people out here that support you in whatever you do and would like to stay in touch.
43. Lucy | February 4, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Ultimately the blog is for you and not us. I’ll miss reading and look forward to when you are back but do what you need to do.
Drop me an email if you need the Reiki.
44. NellyElly | February 4, 2008 at 8:54 pm

I started reading your blog recently and I just wanted to say thank you, because your thoughtful writing and beautiful knitting really inspired me. I’m de lurking for the first time to tell you to have a wonderful time outside of blog land and wish you good luck.
45. razzlestravels | February 4, 2008 at 10:14 pm

If you feel like it’s time to put the blog aside, then do so (and come back when you are ready! But come back!)
But if you are doing it to avoid divorce drama, then go with Elinor’s plan or just make this blog private and available to the users you want. WordPress lets you do that
Best wishes,
Sitcomgirl
46. Cass | February 5, 2008 at 1:17 am

I’ve so enjoyed your blog - thank you! Best wishes to you and LM as everything gets settled divorce/custody wise.
47. Abby | February 5, 2008 at 2:34 am

May blessings come to you from so many directions that you can’t keep track of where they’re coming from, especially during this divorce thing.

I, for one, may be a lurker, but I would miss this blog. But if you must delete, you must. Nothing is more important than your son.

Blessed be.

(From the knitter of the purple wool square that’s in seed stitch)
48. Jane | February 5, 2008 at 9:48 am

I am a lurker and have never commented before. I have read your blog regularly and enjoyed it. I wish you the best, good luck and hope that you will return to blogging, I will miss reading about your adventures.
49. Ruth | February 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm

You Wild Thing, you ….
50. Megan | February 5, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Life is such a strange journey, isn’t it? Thanks for inviting us on this part of your trip. I look forward to catching up with you in other places, online or otherwise.
51. mamacate | February 6, 2008 at 12:14 am

Don’t blame you one little bit, but I’m glad that I know you’ll keep in touch no matter what. (Yes you will!) And happy blogiversary, even if it’s goodbye on the blog for a while too.
52. PainterWoman | February 6, 2008 at 3:25 am

And you DO have our emails (at least mostly) so you can reach out to your community and friends as you wish. All the best.
53. JenniferH | February 6, 2008 at 8:36 am

I’ll keep checking back to see if there’s anything new until the “page not found” goblin makes me stop, because you inspire me with your bravery and heart. Mazel tov.
54. deezbeez | February 6, 2008 at 12:17 pm

I’ve only posted a reply once before, and might be your biggest (or only??) male fan. I’ve especially enjoyed reading lately because of your contentment. It is evident as time goes on that things are going well for you and you have an outlook on life that inspires me. I will miss you and hope for your return. In the meantime, you and Little Man will be in my thoughts and prayers.
55. ellen | February 6, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Do what you need to do for your real life. We’ll gnash our terrible teeth and show our terrible claws but you’ll do waht you need to do and we’ll send you off with love and blessings.
56. honeybee33 | February 6, 2008 at 8:11 pm

*sniff*

we still have a date for tattooing, don’t we?

~ hb33 ~
57. Brandy | February 6, 2008 at 10:23 pm

It’s funny–I feel like you could continue to write on here and all the lawyers, Xifey, and even the rest of us would barely have a glimpse into the depth of your devotion to your son and your openness to growth.

I hope you are able to follow your bliss. And should it ever lead you to Atlanta, I hope I get the opportunity to take you out for a night on the town.
58. Sharon Rose | February 7, 2008 at 12:24 pm

Hugs!
59. Julie | February 8, 2008 at 2:24 pm

It’s more than understandable - everyone needs a break now and again, even if they’re not in a situation like yours. Go, do what you want to do, take care of you and Little Man, and if you feel like coming back when things are a little less messy, then do so. If not…well, I’d still better hear from your ass over on Ravelry.
60. Heather | February 10, 2008 at 3:32 am

I read your blog faithfully (I’m shy, so usually no comments), but at this juncture, I feel compelled to speak…It’s SO UNFAIR!! She cheats and betrays; she leaves (and P.S. I’m so glad that you’re starting to see that it’s a good thing for you), but honestly…now she’s essentially forcing you to give up another thing that’s meaningful and positive in your life??? WHAT IS WITH THIS WOMAN??? As a 13-year-divorced mother of four (yes) nearly grown daughters, I feel for you…since this will not be the last episode of her ‘throwing her legal weight around’ just because she can. Wouldn’t you think that since she got her own way she should be happy? Don’t you wonder whether she’s secretly miserable and has to try to make you at least as unhappy as she currently is? My best advice? Get some counseling…for yourself and LM. I’ve been going for years and it’s been a godsend. I’m not as magnanimous as your other readers and friends…I’m going to miss you and I think this situation is a shame. Peace and love to you…
61. lapawlow | February 10, 2008 at 10:08 pm

i know i haven’t posted or commented as of late and i apologize. know that i missed reading this and i hope i get to catch up again soon (i should have some free time) but if you have to go i (and i’m sure everyone else) understand(s). happy blog-a-versary.
62. Deidre | February 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

Good luck and I will miss reading about your life.
Take care,
Deidre
63. Mary | February 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm

Delurking to say, I wish you all the best nd willl miss you if you go. But I understand if you need to. I’ve been where you are and I believe things will work out for the best in the long run. Hang in there and know there are people out here praying for you.
64. The Purloined Letter | February 12, 2008 at 3:59 pm

I haven’t ready blogs in so so so long and am so sorry to hear that you’ve had a rough time lately. Think about you a lot.
65. Dorothy | February 12, 2008 at 10:15 pm

If custody of your baby is at risk, by all means, delete away. It would be selfish of us to want to put Little Man and you on the line so we can keep up with your life.

You’ll be missed. Many blessing and I hope things go well for you with the divorce. I’m glad that you are content.
66. Susan | February 15, 2008 at 4:03 pm

I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t know Where the Wild Things Are by heart. I thought that was a KC and the Sunshine Band quote, from “Please Don’t Go”. Oh well, at least you can dance to mine!
67. Heather | February 20, 2008 at 11:28 am

I am sad to see you go for selfish reasons, as I have enjoyed getting to know you through the blog. Just because I won’t still be able to read, tho, doesn’t mean I won’t be pulling for you and little man and wishing you happiness. I do hope — as we travel in many of the same fiber circles — that we can get to know each other soon outside the internet. If you are at Spa, I’ll be at the Friday night meet-up, and I’ll be keeping my eyes open! All my best now and always, Heather
68. Sarahfish | February 21, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Oh the irony. I come out from under my self-imposed rock, just as you need to take your leave for a while. I totally understand where you’re coming from (of course I do!) You know, you’ll do what feels right. Your life has found its flow again, remember? So, flow as you need to. I’d love to keep in touch, though…
69. pamela wynne | March 21, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Where the Wild Things Are!!!

And please know that you didn’t “lose” me as a reader — I’ve just been blog retarded for several months, and haven’t been reading *anyone’s*. And now, just as I’m catching up, you’re going away!

Take care, and I hope to see you round Ravelry. xoxo

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