The Countdown « FemiKnitMafia

The Countdown

November 29, 2007

With 16 hours until my closing and 40 hours until I officially start moving my boxes and bookcases into my new place, this is where I find myself:

Email
Today, 4:41pm
cc:ed to 1) our mediator/attorney-$$, 2) her paralegal-$, 3) my attorney-$$$, 4) her attorney-$$

I would request that [Mafia] refrain from going through personal items of mine on my dresser, my bed stand, or my closet, or anywhere else that contains personal items if mine. If she is looking for something specific, she can wait until I am present.
This is a reasonable request.
Thank you,
[Xifey]

Today, 4:56pm
cc:ed to 1) our mediator/attorney-$$, 2) her paralegal-$, 3) my attorney-$$$, 4) her attorney-$$

[Xifey] is referring to two love letters from her girlfriend that she left in plain view this morning on the top of her dresser, the dresser that she is in the process of emptying, as it will become [Little Man's] dresser in 24 hours. This morning I noticed two handwritten notes in plain sight, unfolded them, read them, and propped them up on her dresser, unfolded, so that was aware that I saw them. This is also reasonable behavior, since I’ve REPEATEDLY asked [Xifey] over the last 10 weeks to refrain from leaving her love letters in prominent places around the house (i.e. the dining room table!!!). This is a reasonable request. I don’t need to go through her personal items — she leaves things in plain sight. Basic human kindness is clearly in short supply. When she stops leaving her love letters around the house, I’ll stop unfolding and propping them up. Deal?

[Xifey] — are we really spending our attorney’s time and money on this matter???

[Mafia]

Today, 4:56pm
cc:ed to 1) our mediator/attorney-$$, 2) her paralegal-$, 3) my attorney-$$$, 4) her attorney-$$

Items that are folded and tucked in a basket on my dresser (still mine for 24 hours) are in my personal space. There was no reason for you to be in my personal space.

[Xifey]

Is this really my life? Really? Good god.

Entry Filed under: Divorce, It's All About Me, Xifey. .

35 Comments Add your own

1. Kathode Ray Tube | November 29, 2007 at 6:56 pm

What a beeyotch. Thank Dog that you’ve only got 16 hours to go til closing. Hang in there…she is obviously making it as difficult as possible.
2. Kim | November 29, 2007 at 7:03 pm

Hang in there, Mafia. 40, 40 hours to go-o-o….
3. Lucia | November 29, 2007 at 7:04 pm

Gargh.
4. Carry | November 29, 2007 at 7:07 pm

Damn…I remember the countdown well, use it as your mantra not to sink to her level…

I would presume that maybe some of her horrible behavior is out of guilt? And because she feels guilty she’s mind blowingly cruel? Ok, a long shot perhaps…but keep thinking soon you will have peace. Soon you will not have to stumble upon her “love” letters…

Huge, honkin’ hugs hon!!!
5. PainterWoman | November 29, 2007 at 7:18 pm

I hate to say this, but things may get worse before they get better. AND, from observation and personal experience, this is relatively normal!! Go read the book CRAZY TIME. (Sorry it’s written for straight couples… but you can get good info, just the same.) People really do get (at least partially) crazy when splitting up. Vindictive, prying, rude, nit-picking, legalistic, self-righteous– you name it. All you can do is try not to BE the crazy one!! (And let her pay for the attorneys.) Be well.
6. liz | November 29, 2007 at 7:26 pm

So sad that Xifey has to act so trashy. Sorry, Mafia, that you’re having a hard time. Good luck with the move!!!
7. Beth S. | November 29, 2007 at 7:56 pm

It’s kind of a shame that you guys are going the uncontested route, because she keeps handing you proof of adultery on a freaking silver platter!

Oh, and I think “This is a reasonable request” should be the big new catchphrase, like “That’s hot” or “You’re fired”. I personally am going to start using it all the time!–i.e. “Would you please pass the salt? This is a reasonable request.”
8. Tasha | November 29, 2007 at 8:15 pm

Sorry, Mafia. They are *her* notes; I’d try to let ‘em be, especially since it’s still her dresser for the time being. It’s unfortunate that it’s come to this point, and that money is being wasted. Continue taking the high ground as you’ve been doing and you’ll come out on top in the end. We’re rooting for you!
9. knitredsox | November 29, 2007 at 9:47 pm

It’s so unfortunate that humans are like this — but I bet you can tell from reading your comments that OTHER humans are rooting for you, in a big way. By now it’s less than 40 hours, and soon you will be safely in Your Own Space.
10. Kat with a K | November 29, 2007 at 10:02 pm

Gah. I don’t even know what else to say.
11. Haddy | November 29, 2007 at 10:03 pm

“These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do…”
12. Ruth | November 29, 2007 at 10:43 pm

Merciful heavens.

What did the attorneys say?
13. femiknitmafia | November 29, 2007 at 10:57 pm

Ruth — the attorneys said absolutely nothing, thankfully, since that would’ve cost even more money.
14. Suzanne | November 30, 2007 at 1:03 am

Wait - did Xifey carefully avoid going through *your* personal effects while dividing up the house into “mine” and “hers” in your absence? While Tasha rightly points out that the best thing to do is to leave the love notes alone, I agree that she should keep the damn things out of sight. Why twist the knife? She’s not being found legally liable for adultery, and that should be quite enough. In your shoes, I would not in a million years be able to ignore notes left in plain sight.
15. Brandy | November 30, 2007 at 2:41 am

How is it that the people we love the most rather easily become the people who we dislike the most? Rhetorical question, but the issue that resonates with me is whether or not she is provoking in you something that you will dislike for the unforeseeable future. I mean, dislike her for as long as need be (you’ll get nothing but support from us here), but if she provokes something in you that causes you to dislike yourself? Well, politely tell her to sod off. Your health and LM’s health and well-being are paramount.

p.s. I find that I comment only after a few glasses of wine. Please accept implied apologies in said self-disclosure.
16. no-blog-rachel | November 30, 2007 at 2:50 am

Oh I have so been there. My heart goes out to you! Hang in and try your best to ignore her. And it might just piss her off more if you don’t visibly react to her evil little jabs.

Mine wrote a book about me recently. Without my permission. I’m still trying to ignore it and not stoop to his level, and it still sucks! It’s hard, but over time I’ve gotten better at keeping him and his horrible doings out of my head, and you will too. And I think having your own space soon is going to do you a world of good.

*hugs*
17. Thorn | November 30, 2007 at 4:08 am

Oh sweetie. Big hugs to you and to Little Man.

I wish you a very happy housewarming!!
18. Rabbitch | November 30, 2007 at 6:16 am

Oh man. Urgh.

Yes, I know I’m insanely articulate. I must make a note to write a book one day.

And in the meantime, just keep on counting the hours. It’ll be over soon.
19. Marcy | November 30, 2007 at 8:42 am

Yuck. Just keep counting down the hours, Mafia. Hugs to you and LM.
20. Kate | November 30, 2007 at 9:34 am

Oh, dear. She’s really fallen off the turnip truck headed for Stupdville, hasn’t she? I have a little housewarmning gift for you and Little Man … let me know offline where to send it, mkay?
21. Em | November 30, 2007 at 9:53 am

Geez, that’s a new kind a awful. I wish you all the best: a great new home, low legal fees, and no more of this crap!
22. Sara | November 30, 2007 at 9:56 am

it’s totally crazy-making. Breathe in, breathe out, one foot in front of the other and all that - and know that you’re moving FORWARD.

Which is a very good thing
23. Rhonda the Stitchingnut | November 30, 2007 at 11:12 am

Take a deep breath. You’ll soon be out of there and breathing easier than you have in a long time. Don’t let her push you into to craziness.
24. Jenn | November 30, 2007 at 11:51 am

WHAT. A. BITCH.

The end.
25. Lisa | November 30, 2007 at 12:10 pm

Enough Said about eXifey!

Counting down with you and jumping for joy with you! Yu are in my thoughts and you have our shoulders to lean on.
26. Kathleen | November 30, 2007 at 12:13 pm

Hang in there…it is almost over

Time heals, really it does!
27. Danielle | November 30, 2007 at 1:35 pm

Crazy-making. Urgh.
28. Maritza | November 30, 2007 at 6:40 pm

Gah! That sucks. It will get better. Very soon. *hugs*
29. sarah | November 30, 2007 at 7:41 pm

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Xifey sounds like a very selfish person. Though I know how painful this must be, stay strong, love your little boy and yourself.
30. Kit | November 30, 2007 at 9:58 pm

Tomorrow morning! You’re out of there tomorrow. The new place is beautiful and the two of you will be happy there.
31. Manise | December 1, 2007 at 11:54 am

Happy Moving Day! The start of a new and happier life for you and LM.
32. Julie | December 1, 2007 at 10:13 pm

Well, it’s only your life for a little while longer. Happy moving day to you and Little Man. Hoping that it went well for you both! *hugs*
33. DeltaDawn | December 2, 2007 at 10:40 pm

Oy. You did fine in response to such disrespect. It’s a shame.

But cute place - exposed beams sound good, high ceilings - anyone above you? Good luck with all the boxes - I’d be right there to help if I lived anywhere near you!
34. britt | December 3, 2007 at 12:56 pm

Hey girl, sorry I didn’t read this sooner I could have hefted some boxes. next time email me, I am better with email.
I am glad you are done there and I hope LM is doing ok.
Are you doing ok?
Email me, we can grab something to eat/drink and you are always welcome to invade the turtle filled house I call my own
35. Sitcomgirl | December 4, 2007 at 10:51 pm

Wow. Seriously Xifey?? This is what you do with your spare time?
Mafia, just keep on taking that high road.

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