FemiKnitMafia

Guest Loo

How much does my Mom love me? Or how crazy is my Mom? You decide. During her Christmas visit, she could barely sit still because she was jonesin’ to rip something apart in my house. One evening, I came downstairs after putting Little Man to bed and found her in my downstairs bathroom, doing this:

Only the world’s best Mom would strip wallpaper when you weren’t paying attention. That’s love. After the wallpaper came down, we discovered a corner where some old floor-to-ceiling beadboard was covered with plaster. [who would do that?] So I joined MafiaMom, and reclaimed the beadboard.

This involved running the sharp tip of my multi-purpose putty knife down the ditches between the boards. But in doing so, I created a lot of texture where the old layers of paint were uncovered. I can’t just sand it, because it’s no doubt lead paint. I don’t want to putty over it again, because I will have wasted 2 hours of hardcore scraping. So I’m ignoring it until I decide what to do.

In the meantime, Wifey and I skim-coated and sanded the walls, harkening back to these days. Then Little Man and I primed the rest of the room. He was delighted to be a part of this activity. He learned to put only a small amount of paint on the brush, to tap it gently on the tray, and to paint up and down. [wax on, wax off]

Then Wifey I finished the job with a nice coat of American Tradition in “Spring Spirits” green.

How to Electrocute Yourself 101

Step 1: Decide to replace a light fixture when noone else is home.

Step 2: Disconnect fixture from the ceiling, discover wires covered in black linen, and still continue with your project.

Step 3: Find a cast iron mounting brace, make a mental note that you’ve never even seen one of those, and continue with your project.

Step 4: Disconnect all wires, notice that they’re not copper, consult your giant manual, read the warnings, and continue with your project.

Step 5: Go to the basement, turn the electricity back on, and decide to test for “juice.” Touch the black end of your electricity tester to the metal tube surrounding your wires, the red end to a bare wire, and act surprised when it jolts, sparks and melts the metals tips of your tester.

Step 6: Rejoice when you finally call the electrician because you can clearly state which of the wires is “hot.”

Since just before Halloween, Little Man has been obsessed with dressing up. It all started at day care, where he mobilized the boys to dress in high femme princess attire. Wifey would arrive to pick him up and find all the boys wearing high heels, and the teachers claiming that Little Man was the ring-leader. Then Halloween hit, with the Mafia made matching Peter Pan and Tinkerbell costumes for Little Man and his neighbor/girl friend Lila. Then Lila caught the dress-up bug, collected an entire (vintage!) suitcase of princess bits, and has played with few other toys since then. At our house, we’ve been hoarding dress up clothes for over two years, patiently waiting for this period of Little Man’s development. The time has officially arrived.

The first favorite outfit: pirate hat, and a purple glittery cape (made with scrap fabric by Auntie Carrie). Accessories vary.

Phase two: Large straw hat, purple glittery cape, and small silky black purse.

On Monday, Little Man had a croupy cough, so we stayed home together. Of course, this meant a trip to Nina’s house, and Target: two of our favorite places. To my delight, the Target $1 Spot was packed with dress up clothes, so we grabbed an entire princess ensemble. For the record, when given the choice between pink and purple, Little Man chose purple. For the gender-concerned among you, I tried talking him into the pirate and safari outfits; he was. not. interested.

While chatting on the phone with MafiaMom the other day, Little Man was playing dress-up. After hearing his explanation of why he absolutely can not wear his red shirt, only his white shirt with the purple cape, Ms. conservative MafiaMom offered the following insight:

“Perhaps he’ll be a ballet dancer when he grows up.

Or … maybe a fashion designer.

No, no …

[giggle giggle giggle]

He’s gonna be a drag queen!

[giggle giggle giggle]“

Last year I knit a hat for Little Man, but it was too big. I shoved it into the bottom of a basket and promptly forgot about it. But when the winter winds started to blow, I decided to re-use this very cool yarn combo: Cascade 220 in navy, stranded with Crystal Palace Kid Merino in Indigo #4675 (scroll down). With an ever-growing head, I decided to make the hat too big again, but with expandable all-over ribbing and a big wide cuff, so he could wear it for more than one season.

Apparently Little Man has a different vision. He won’t allow us the roll up the cuff, so he wears it like this.

I have to admit, it’s kinda cute. The ribbing curves nicely around his melon, making a delightfully round shape from every angle.

At the top, I decreased at the same place every time, so the top third of the hat spirals around a bit. Instead of a pom-pom, I opted for a ‘floof’. Yes, that’s a technical term for a loose pom-pom that looks like Wyclef’s hair when he wears it up. See?

Copyright: 2003 Wyclef.com

In all honesty, I tried to find a screen shot of Wyclef from his Sesame Street appearance when he sings “Healthy Food” with Cookie Monster, which is the true inspiration for the ‘floof’, but I can’t find it. I’m not entirely unhappy with this photo, because even us lesbians have to admit that he’s one beautiful man. And while scooting around the web, I found one of my favorite Sesame Street skits on YouTube. Anyone else remember Let’s Sing a Song About J?

Anyway … I also made a pair of mittens for Little Man, so he has a matching set. He loves them, although he’s convinced that “mittens” are actually called “sleeves.”

Now if only I could focus on knitting some mittens for myself. Walking to the train this morning in 20 degree weather was a bit shocking on my bare skin.

My dear sweet NinaBeana, my local SAHM with whom I would spend every afternoon if I didn’t have to work. Every time I leave her house I whine, “can I quit my job please?” She’s so generous of spirit (and food) that her house has become a revolving door of friends and family, and somehow she remains sane.

Our friendship began three years ago at our local library, where our kids, at the ripe old age of 9 months, brought us together. As the story goes, she spotted my tattoo and was too scared to say hello, and after seeing her funky little outfits and her bumper stickers, I was too scared to say hello. Thank god for our babies. Actually … thank god for her baby Grace, who crawled right over and tried to steal Little Man’s binky. They still steal things from one another (we will never discuss the firefighter hat drama of 1/8/07), but they also hug and kiss and talk and share and pretend and snuggle and giggle and craft and make their moms very very happy.

Speaking of happy, this photo makes me happy. Back in December, Nina and I went to the Bazaar Bizarre together, made covert “I could make that…” lists, ogled the beautiful goods made by bloggers that we’ve been reading, strolled through the South End, tried organic smoked salmon at a beautiful little deli, shared a ham, cheddar and fig sandwich, and grabbed tea and scones for the ride home. While waiting for the train, I snapped this photo. I love it because it’s just so Nina.

In the last three years, we’re shared many things, including an ever-growing list of “Crafts To Try.” And ever since Angry Chicken posted her adorable freezer paper stencils, we’ve been trying to plan a weekend crafts-only date. With the lure of Tord Boontje designs in my house, we finally had a crafty date last weekend. And it was wicked fun.

Little Man and I ran off to the “art store” as he calls it, where he selected the t-shirts and paint colors. Nina and I laid the Tord panels on the floor and let the kids pick their favorite animal images. Then we traced the animals onto the freezer paper, carefully cut the stencils, ironed the paper to the outside of the shirt, with another layer of freezer paper fused to the inside (very important) and handed out paint brushes.

I consider the experience a success because Little Man wore the red rabbit to school yesterday and accosted everyone with “I paint this shirt with Mommy!”

By the way, see that silly face he’s making. Yeah … that’s what happens when you tell a kid to “smile.” Apparently Alison’s boys got the same memo.

As I begin the labor-intensive phase of renovating Ms. 1890, I’m consistently surprised at how these seemingly simple actions, requiring little more than brute strength, actually engage all of my senses. 116 years of history surfaces in the layers of color, the smell of water damage, the texture of worn wood, the taste of lead paint, the rhythmic sound of metal scraping off time.

What was the rest of the house like when the the downstairs bathroom was dark chocolate, shiny teal, sand, or tutu pink?

Back in October, someone blogged about the Holiday 2006 partnership between Target and Tord Boontje, a name I’d never heard before. But I was intrigued by the images that were posted: intricate paper cuts of deer, rabbits, snowflakes, stars, and stark winter branches. My little pagan heart warmed.

Then I read accounts of folks dashing to Target stores across the U.S. to snatch the best pieces as soon as they hit the shelves, other bloggers mourning missed opportunities, and blogger gifts of Tord collection bits. I longed for that garland. Small. Simple. White garland. But that was one of the first products to disappear.

Then I bought a house. And I ripped up floors. And fixed ceilings. And my Tord fetish slipped into the back of my mind.

Until my Mom came to visit. My Mom - the woman who brings out my inner consumer - requested a trip to Target. While there, we dug into the deep recesses of the holiday sale shelves, and found the window clings for 50% off (score!). Ms. 1890 reallys like them, but my camera - not so much. Have you ever tried taking a decent photo of a window cling? See … even the brilliant photographer SouleMama struggled with it.

Anyway … after strolling around the store and digging through the bins, I started to look upward, at the beautiful designs hanging from the ceiling. Then I strolled up to the Customer Service desk and asked:

“What happens to those beautiful holiday decorations after Christmas?”
“We throw them in the trash.”
“Can I have them?”
“Ummmm … sure, I guess. Well … let me make sure. I have to call our sign person. Can you wait here?”

I waited.

And after some logistical negotiation, it was decided that if I called every day to remind Melissa (my uber customer service chick), and arrived very early in the morning on the Thursday after Christmas, I could have whatever I wanted. I requested two strings of stars/snowflakes and two of the large panels.

Cat for scale

Dansko for scale

I’m not sure what to do with the big panels — probably cut them up(?). Adornments for wrapping paper? Mobiles? Tracing them to make stencils? Freezer paper t-shirts [nina]?

After all that excitement and inpsiration, I came home and made stockings for my Mom and MafiaBro so they had some visual love when they awoke in my house on Christmas morning.

Now Mom and MafiaBro will have stockings whenever they come for a Christmas visit, and I have yards of Tord paper cuts to play with. Peace and Joy.

While playing with the wee one and beating on Ms. 1890, I managed to knit a stitch or two on the Arwen cardigan. The back is entirely finished, and represents an alarming amount of fabric. [am I really that big back there?]

Then I started the left front, knit about 6 rows beyond the hem line and decided I didn’t like it. See how the bottom edge of the cable panel is all wavy, perhaps even scallopy?

Me no likey.

So I ripped back to the purl hem turning line, and tried something else. If anyone is interested, here’s what I did:

On the RS, knit to the end of the row, and without turning, use a purling-on cast on. It’s very similar to knitting-on, only you purl the stitches instead of knitting them. Apparently I unvented a Lily Chin trick, which was broadcast on an episode of Knitty Gritty that I just discovered via the magic of Google. Who knew?

Anyway … you purl-on the 26 sts that create the cable panel, then do two rows of seed stitch before doing the cable set-up row. See?

Better.

But, I’m still not 100% thrilled with the one row difference between the hem line and the beginning of the cable panel, but I’ll probably just ignore that. If I felt like starting over again, I might cast on at the end of the hem turning row and see if it lines up perfectly. Hmmmm…

* special thanks to hand model and camera ‘ho Danielle

* x-posted at Arwen KAL blog.

Generally, I’m not a resolutions person because neglect leads to guilt. Why would I set myself up for such dismay? Nonetheless, on January 1st, I dug through posts from last January, looking for anything resembling resolutions. Nada. Well, hell’s bells — now I have nothing to congratulate myself for. Alas, this is my dilemma. If I don’t make resolutions, I have no standards by which to judge myself. If I make resolutions, I feel terrible about abandoning them. This year, I’m throwing emotional caution to the wind, and posting my resolutions for the entire world to see.

Human
… Decrease my consumption of sugar and refined flour products, which could decrease my waistline [this is absolutely not a d!@t]
… Transfer a sliver of my doting energy from Little Man to Wifey

Employee
… Find a job that’s significantly more challenging and therefore, more rewarding

Home-Owner
… Finish the walls and woodwork on Ms. 1890’s entire 1st floor
… Rent the machine and blow cellulose insulation into my attic
… create a budget and most importantly, use it

Creator
… Knit From My Stash until September 30th (see my newly tightened rules)
… Stop agreeing to craft gifts, unless the idea is mine
… Finish overdue gifts for my Mom
… Sew a new quilt for Little Man
… Learn to use my drop spindle

That’s realistic, right?

Ms. 1890 sends her best wishes for a fantabulous 2007! May your adventures be as multi-layered as her walls.

The Mafia promises to resume regularly scheduled posting as soon as she puts down the crow bar.