Passive Aggressive Hair
July 21, 2006
I’m convinced that Wifey hates wool, knitting, and all things related to sheep. But she won’t come out and say it. It comes out in weird passive aggressive ways, which if confronted with, she forcefully denies.
1) A couple weeks ago, we were all sitting at the dinner table eating corn on the cob (I think). Instead of reaching for her napkin, Wifey wiped her hands on the newly finished Woolarina socks for Little Man! In utter astonishment, I blurted out an incredulous “what the hell are you doooooo-ing?”
2) Yesterday, I was home with a mild eye infection and thought I’d be a nice wife and do some laundry. You know where this is going, don’t you? I opened the dryer, hucked everything into a basket, dragged it to the bedroom, dumped it on the freshly-made bed, and stepped back in horror when I saw this:
FUZZ!
She felted the g-d d-mn brand-new never-worn handknit socks for Little Man, made from yarn that he picked out at a fiber festival! That’s wrong on so.many.levels. I tried stretching them (see bottom sock), but they’re still pretty small (see Zoe sticker for reference), and Little Man has big feet. Chances are good these wee socks will go to live next door with Little Man’s best girl friend Lila and her baby sister Sophie. grrr.wifey.grrr.
In other photographic news, I didn’t ignore the pleas for photos of my botched electric clippers hair cut. With the 3 jobs, everything is slower ’round these parts. Here you go. I was tired and loopy this morning. Consider yourself warned.
Hair has a mind of it’s own. Fluff.
Hair and I get into it hot-and-heavy with the product. Crazy.
After a serious discussion about my professional prospects and what effect that will have on my ability to buy nice products for Hair, she decided to relax a bit.
OK, Hair — this is a compromise I can live with. 
See, I’m not bald afterall. Sorry Carry.
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1.
Beth S. | July 21, 2006 at 4:22 pm
She felted… the handknit… socks?
AIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
2.
CarryFairie | July 21, 2006 at 4:25 pm
Not bald but still so damn cute!
I’m sorry wifey has such a vendetta against the wool…here I thought she understood, I seem to recall a yarn bouquet???
3.
maryse | July 21, 2006 at 4:30 pm
there’s nothing passive about throwing hand knit socks in the washing machine.
and the hair looks pretty good i think.
4.
The Whole Self | July 21, 2006 at 5:28 pm
duuuuuuuuuuuude! we are so the same person sometimes. this morning i had a date in the bathroom with my scissors- and cut all my hair off in the back. i left two little pieces on the side to make myself feel like i still have hair. it should be interesting to hear what my conservative relatives have to hear about it for the gilbert wedding festivities this weekend.
also, you were HOME yesterday when i came over to visit your mailbox? i knew i should’ve rang the bell even though i didn’t see a car! dammit.
5.
Cheryl | July 21, 2006 at 5:29 pm
I can’t believe she wiped her hands on socks! That is hysterical! Sad for the socks, but still pretty funny.
6.
bitterknitter | July 21, 2006 at 5:45 pm
Poor socks and with the yarn little man picked himself
Your hair looks really cute all crazy in the second photo! I love it.
7.
mamacate | July 21, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Sweetie, there is such a thing as too butch. Electric clippers? Non!
8.
Emily | July 21, 2006 at 8:59 pm
I’ve heard that soaking in salt water and then stretching like h-e-double toothpick can help to bring them back to shape. Not unfelt the texture, but at least help with the shrunken ness. I haven’t tried it though. Good luck!
9.
FemiKnitMafia | July 21, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Oh MamaCate — me? butch? Don’t you see that femmey collar? In purple? Those wingy bits that stick out from the side of my head? No self-respecting butch would ever wear those.
I like to think of myself as sans gender, thank you very much.
10.
Anonymous | July 22, 2006 at 12:21 am
in my defense, ladies, there ARE handknit socks that i can and do wash. ahem, superwash. i dont have a key next to the washer/dryer indicating what i can and cant wash- and if this gets anymore complicated, FKM can wash her hand knit stuff (that is littering my %#$ house- and i will keep using as napkins) herself.
thanks, ever so,
wifey
11.
Kellee | July 22, 2006 at 12:35 am
*whew*
It’s good to see a post from wifey….i was afeered for her…..
12.
FemiKnitMafia | July 22, 2006 at 1:09 am
I may have mentioned before — Wifey is one tough cookie. Don’t stand between her and the washing machine or you’ll get poked with a starched collar.
13.
Rhonda | July 22, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Actually, I thought the fact that Wifey used the socks for a napkin was because she LOVED the feel of the wool. *smile* …. as for the felted sock, sorry FKM you know you should never have used 100% wool for a child’s sock. Even I have trouble remember to hand wash SoMe of my things or nOt. …. and on another note, LOL you are so FUNNY… I’m still laughing over the look on your FACE rather than the hair cut. Nothing wrong with the hair cut once it’s made to mind, LOL. But your LoOk was so FunNy girl! Oh dear, thanks for the GOOD laugh!!
14.
JJ | July 23, 2006 at 7:36 pm
I actually really like the hair in the first picture.
Is there enough yarn left to make Little Man another pair of socks? He is LITTLE…
Uh, please be careful with the Claudia Handpaints…although they COULD become Little Man socks…
15.
Chris Q | July 24, 2006 at 6:42 pm
with this humidity, what more can a person expect. at least you’ve had a grooming in the past 12 months!
16.
Dharia | July 27, 2006 at 7:59 pm
OH. MAH. GAWD!! i am sooo soo sorry about the little man socks! that is a serious wool atrocity.
17.
kate | July 28, 2006 at 8:10 pm
we’re actually thinking of not selling nonsuperwash sock yarns any more, as there have been so many yarntastrophes with it!