Comments on: My Gay Frown http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/ Feminist. Democrat. Knitter. Passionate. Obsessed. Lesbian. Mommy. Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:57:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU By: Danielle http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-949 Danielle Sun, 23 Jul 2006 14:31:27 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-949 I know 1/2 of a lesbian couple who is in her seventies. Presumably her parter of a gazillion years is about the same age. Unfortunately, she lives in PA, so I'm not sure I can be much help! I know 1/2 of a lesbian couple who is in her seventies. Presumably her parter of a gazillion years is about the same age. Unfortunately, she lives in PA, so I’m not sure I can be much help!

]]> By: Christine http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-947 Christine Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:50:25 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-947 For five years I had the gift of working with a lesbian couple who had been together for well over forty years. They worked as volunteers in the program that I manage. One member of the couple passed away last year; at her funeral there were many longtime couples. Yes, wonderful older dyke couples are out there, but the majority of them are far more closeted than we as younger lesbians can imagine. <br/><br/>**BTW, the remaining member of the couple told me a few weeks ago that she has a new 'friend'(!). What a model for life moving on, to fall in love in your late seventies. For five years I had the gift of working with a lesbian couple who had been together for well over forty years. They worked as volunteers in the program that I manage. One member of the couple passed away last year; at her funeral there were many longtime couples. Yes, wonderful older dyke couples are out there, but the majority of them are far more closeted than we as younger lesbians can imagine.

**BTW, the remaining member of the couple told me a few weeks ago that she has a new ‘friend’(!). What a model for life moving on, to fall in love in your late seventies.

]]> By: wenders http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-933 wenders Fri, 21 Jul 2006 14:03:15 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-933 I agree with Kat with a K 110%... there certainly should not be different standards for hetero vs. homo couples. <br/><br/>And I think my role models are those people who make it work AND are under the radar. Just do it, no? Slow infiltration, that's my theory. <br/><br/>Although, clearly, I couldn't do it, so who am I to talk? I agree with Kat with a K 110%… there certainly should not be different standards for hetero vs. homo couples.

And I think my role models are those people who make it work AND are under the radar. Just do it, no? Slow infiltration, that’s my theory.

Although, clearly, I couldn’t do it, so who am I to talk?

]]> By: Suzanne http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-932 Suzanne Fri, 21 Jul 2006 04:29:18 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-932 Wow, that is sad. For women making the first inroads in various arenas, part of the struggle is always the burden of the test case. Fail, and you fail not only yourself but the perception of women as competent. Succeed, and the same sort of extrapolation may or may not apply. What is true for feminism (oh, does that date me?) is true for gay rights. For this couple, it is sad for them that their separation is fraught with public speculation. The best they can do is to handle everything with grace and emphasize the importance of equality, divorce included if that is what happens. Wow, that is sad. For women making the first inroads in various arenas, part of the struggle is always the burden of the test case. Fail, and you fail not only yourself but the perception of women as competent. Succeed, and the same sort of extrapolation may or may not apply. What is true for feminism (oh, does that date me?) is true for gay rights. For this couple, it is sad for them that their separation is fraught with public speculation. The best they can do is to handle everything with grace and emphasize the importance of equality, divorce included if that is what happens.

]]> By: Kat http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-931 Kat Fri, 21 Jul 2006 04:26:13 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-931 That is sad. I used to play basketball with Julie. 50% of hetero marriages end in divorce. No matter your sexual preference, the odds are tough. A successful relationship takes hard work from both parties. That is sad. I used to play basketball with Julie. 50% of hetero marriages end in divorce. No matter your sexual preference, the odds are tough. A successful relationship takes hard work from both parties.

]]> By: k is for krista http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-930 k is for krista Fri, 21 Jul 2006 02:42:01 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-930 I hope I'm not speaking out of turn...<br/><br/>I agree that gay couples have no reason to be treated to a higher standard. People are people. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.<br/><br/>My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years, and maybe I can give you the best advice I have...YOU have to make it work. Not you as a couple, you as a person. The catch-22...both of you have to accept that responsibility. Does that make sense?<br/><br/>Best of luck to both of you...it takes work, trust, and love. I hope I’m not speaking out of turn…

I agree that gay couples have no reason to be treated to a higher standard. People are people. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

My husband and I have been together for almost 11 years, and maybe I can give you the best advice I have…YOU have to make it work. Not you as a couple, you as a person. The catch-22…both of you have to accept that responsibility. Does that make sense?

Best of luck to both of you…it takes work, trust, and love.

]]> By: pippi http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-929 pippi Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:52:38 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-929 oh how sad.<br/>being in the public eye like that must take such a huge toll on a reltaionship. gawd dayum.<br/><br/>it sucks that the fundies et all will use this. but as someone said above, why is it that GLTG couples should be held to some kind of diffrent standard? it is just absurd.<br/><br/>XO! oh how sad.
being in the public eye like that must take such a huge toll on a reltaionship. gawd dayum.

it sucks that the fundies et all will use this. but as someone said above, why is it that GLTG couples should be held to some kind of diffrent standard? it is just absurd.

XO!

]]> By: mamacate http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-928 mamacate Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:19:12 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-928 So, a) fuck the right wing, but of course I went the same place you did and was bummed at how it would be handled. SUCKS. I bet SRV really wrestled with whether to publish that news or not. Ugh.<br/><br/>b) We're getting used to being considred a Role Model Lesbian Couple (tm), so feel free. Only 14 years so far. So you'll have to wait a bit for fifty but we think it's okay. Except for the part about not being married.<br/><br/>And there's always our sporty and less sporty friends, just saying... So, a) fuck the right wing, but of course I went the same place you did and was bummed at how it would be handled. SUCKS. I bet SRV really wrestled with whether to publish that news or not. Ugh.

b) We’re getting used to being considred a Role Model Lesbian Couple ™, so feel free. Only 14 years so far. So you’ll have to wait a bit for fifty but we think it’s okay. Except for the part about not being married.

And there’s always our sporty and less sporty friends, just saying…

]]> By: julia fc http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-927 julia fc Thu, 20 Jul 2006 23:26:12 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-927 Of course the Right (sic) will make something of it because they continue to believe that there's something essentially different in a queer relationship from a straight one. Its the difference they make of it. This should be evidence that we're all fallible in matters of the heart. It "means" nothing more than that.<br/>and Dude: Newt Gingrich delivered divorce papers to his wife while she was dying of cancer in the hospital. Now THAT'S a test case. Of course the Right (sic) will make something of it because they continue to believe that there’s something essentially different in a queer relationship from a straight one. Its the difference they make of it. This should be evidence that we’re all fallible in matters of the heart. It “means” nothing more than that.
and Dude: Newt Gingrich delivered divorce papers to his wife while she was dying of cancer in the hospital. Now THAT’S a test case.

]]> By: maryse http://femiknitmafia.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-926 maryse Thu, 20 Jul 2006 21:00:37 +0000 http://femiknitmafia.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/my-gay-frown/#comment-926 oh i'm sorry. oh i’m sorry.

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