FemiKnitMafia

When Wifey and I were planning our wedding, we took the advice of many many people and registered. In spite of my initial apprehension, I realized that straight people register all.the.time and that I should partake in this tradition to avoid future bitterness about the well-heeled houses of my straight friends. And of course, the registry was filled with gifts we liked, opposed to that hideous crystal bowl.

As we started our registries, we encountered the not-surprising computer database fields of “bride” and “groom” and the 5 second pause whenever the lovely ladies at the bridal registry table realized we were not bride and bride’s maid, but the.couple. In times of aggravation, Wifey reminded me that we could’ve been a couple in 1950. Nuff said.

As it turns out, registering was tons of fun! We decided on Macy’s (because a ritzy friend convinced me that it was necessary), Crate and Barrel and Target. The Target list was easy-peasy. The Crate and Barrel list was pretty damn easy too.

But the Macy’s list was hard. I felt guilty because everything seemed over-priced and unnecessary. Except this one thing — I fell deeply in love with this huge bowl, but shuttered when I looked at the price (@$120).

I mentioned this to my co-worker and dear friend KickBoxingGrrl. She said “Register for it. Maybe someone will buy it. You never know…” So I did, and for the next few months, I watched as items at Target and Crate and Barrel were “fulfilled” and the Macy’s items (notably ‘my’ bowl) were left “unfulfilled”. I know, I know … you’re not supposed to watch the registries, but seriously … who doesn’t? Liar.

A few days before the wedding, I showed up at work to find a huge box waiting for me. KickBoxingGrrl said, “I didn’t want to haul this all the way to western Mass, and I didn’t think you’d want to haul it back to Boston. So here’s your wedding present.” I opened it up and just about died when I saw ‘my’ bowl and a pair of matching serving utensils.
“Are you crazy?” I said.
“Well, you’ve been talking about it for months. What did you expect?”
“But it’s so expensive. You can’t afford this!”
“Oh stop. Do you like it?”
“Of course. I love it!”
“Well, then shut up and say Thank You.”
“Oh … right, right. THANK YOU so much. You really shouldn’t have done this!”
“Shut up and say Thank You.”
“Right … Thank You, but …”
“Shush!”

My bowl always has a very prominent place in my house. And it reminds me of my dear friends and how to be a dear friend. Generosity of time, money, energy, love, and even bossiness is something I cherish and aspire to.

Thanks to KickBoxingGrrl, to Diane, to Danielle, to Barbara, and to all the other women who have given so much over the years. This is particularly timely because I’m jumping on the Acela tomorrow for a work conference in NYC, and have blocked off time to spend with Diane. I can’t wait to see her!!