FemiKnitMafia

After telling Wifey about yesterday’s pre-school interrogation, she called the Director. Apparently I’m a bit of a “bull dozer” and this is her “area of expertise,” so I was banned from making the call. Just for the record, I am capable of being diplomatic.

Mom … stop laughing!

The response was stellar:
-Of course we’ll discuss it with the kids.
-We’ll do it during circle time.
-Do you have a book that we can read to them?
-Families are all different, and many of the kids are being raised by single moms, so some of them don’t have dads either.
-etc etc etc.

So I brought The Family Book by Todd Parr to school today. Now I sit and wonder when the bum-holes (see, I’m learning) in Lexington or their northern counterparts will catch wind of it.

*

Occassionally I click around Site Meter just to see who’s reading and where they’re coming from. I was once obsessive about this particular activity, but now I’m content to periodically add to my list of “Weird Searches That Drove Traffic Here” (sidebar bottom). In the past few days, I’ve been getting a lot of Alexis Stewart traffic, so I googled her to see what was causing the rush. I didn’t figure it out (mostly because I didn’t feel like spending the time), but I did see this interesting bit on her Wikipedia entry:

“not legally divorced yet, but Alexis said … that she’s dating someone new. While on Stern, she also said she wanted to have a child via a sperm donor.”

Now, seriously…unless a het is in love with a fertility-challenged-man or seriously disgruntled by the boys, there’s rarely talk of sperm donors. Alexis is dating someone and thinking about pay-by-the-vial-sperm? Yep, she’s a dyke.

Little Man’s 3rd birthday and party was Saturday. Periodic showers didn’t keep us inside (thank dog), so the kids ran around the backyard chasing the 5,000 balls we bought. We were blessed with a weekend-long visit from my Mom, and tons of friends at the party (including Marisa and Nina et al). For the first time, Little Man understood that it was his party, and I was moved nearly to tears by his expressions of joy.

In crafty news, I’m still working on the Puma quilt. As expected, I accomplished VERY little this weekend, so I’m feeling a little panicky about it. I even forgot to have my Mom try on the Poncho I’m knitting for her. Silly Mafia!

In other panicky news, Wifey is in LA for a few days, so I’m responsible for Little Man care and shuttling. When I dropped him off at daycare this morning, I had the following interaction:

Curious 3yoGirl: Hi.
Mafia (holding Little Man): Good Morning.
Girl: Are you Little Man’s Mommy?
Mafia: Yes.
Girl: Where’s his Daddy?
Mafia: Uh … he doesn’t have a Daddy.
Girl: His Daddy’s at work?
Mafia: Well, no … he doesn’t have a Daddy. He has two Mommies.
Girl (clearly confused): Oh, you’re his Mommy and his Daddy’s at work?
Mafia: Nope, I’m his Mommy. He doesn’t have a Daddy. He has another Mommy. He has two Mommies.
Girl: Two Mommies?
Mafia: Yep.
A Different Girl: I have ONE Mommy!
Mafia: That’s great. Little Man has two Mommies.
Both: Whoah …

At this point, I managed to run sneak away. It was TOO early in the morning to deal with the politics and potential fall-out of this conversation. Little Man is the only kid in the school with gay parents. The town is notoriously conservative. Parents might complain. I fear the worst. And of course, this HAD to happen when I was doing drop off. eek!

To prove that Little Man is growing up too fast for the Mafia to handle, here’s a road trip conversation between Little Man and Adge (my 16 year old sister in law), while I was pumping gas:

Little Man: Damn!
Adge: What did you say?
Little Man: Damn! Mommy and Mama say that.

Dear lord, I spend a ridiculous amount of time protecting him from Disney movies, merchandized clothes and war toys, and it’s ME that’s warping his little brain. Crap!

Yeah, he said “crap” recently too. It was the same day that produced a very dramatic “Oh.My.God!” I can’t imagine where he get’s that from. I’ve switched to “Oh My Goodness,” but I feel like a flaming ninny.

Hooray! I’ve doubled in value since Oct. 05. But … what does this really mean?

Nothin’?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Still, it’s fun.

1. Fun for femmes.

2. File Under: Why do people dress babies like mini-adults? Can’t they just be babies? Yucky. Without the “cups,” mayyyyyybe, but the halter is still kinda icky.

3. Must make. Love the bright whimsical colors!

Several months ago, I went to Northampton with the BFF&exGF#2. While there, we poked around the Smith College Museum of Art. In the gift shop, I found these delightful little people, and envisioned them in Little Man’s bedroom. I flipped them over and was shocked to see the price tag: regular price: $10, on sale: $2. For $6 dollars, these three little gems came home with me.

Pssst … look what I did!

That’s the fire circle in the bottom left corner of the Puma quilt. And yes, that silver thing is a safety pin.

In other Mafia-news, I am officially insane. Yeah, I know. That’s not news. But in addition to the commissioned Puma quilt (due by June 5th(ish) ), I was roped into doing a bit of consulting for an excellent local queer group, AND teaching another graduate class at a local university! Frig! The consulting gig will be done by the end of July, and the class starts mid-June and runs through early August. Each one is a great opportunity/resume boost, but whoah … lotsa work coming down the pike.

That’s a long way of saying that I won’t be knitting much for the next couple months, and blogging will be more sporadic. Unlike last time, I won’t swear off blogging entirely. That just made it more appealing. However, if you’re here for the knitting content, take me off your list until August. If you actually derive some twisted pleasure from reading my random drivel, feel free to stick around. Who knows what will happen?

If you’ve been here for any length of time, you know how The Mafia obsesses.

[Mom - stop laughing!]

I fall hard. I do. It’s a sickness.

Here’s the historical evidence: Pippi, Alexis Stewart, Cate, Brenda Dayne, Sandra Betzina, Nina, Stephanie.

My obsessions are mostly a good thing (I think) because the ladies feel the lovin’, and everyone knows I’m married (hi Wifey!) so I can get away with the lusting without any awkwardness. Right?

OK good, ‘cuz I have a new one.

I am totally 100% in love with roro, and for once, she.found.me. I swear I wasn’t stalking her. She.found.me. Can I jump up and down and act like a total fool with the glory of this HILARIOUS lesbo? Can I steal her away from Katr (with whom she’s celebrating a 3 year anniversary)? If you’re not already reading her (ahem…Cate, Marisa, Carry), start now. Go.

The last 7,000 days of rain have demolished the Merrimack Valley. Wifey’s school and Little Man’s daycare have been closed all week. We’ve been pumping water out of the basement, but have seen very little damage in our home. In spite of living within a couple blocks of the river, we’re perched on a hill. We’re very lucky.

However, here are pictures of our communities. all photos courtesy of The Boston Globe readers photos

Lawrence — where Wifey teaches

The Lawrence Dam

Juncture of Route 495 and Route 114 on the N. Andover/Lawrence line — usually a normal road

Downtown Haverhill — can you see the 30 ft stone sea wall?

Downtown Haverhill — can you see it now? Right where those lights are? Here’s a photo of the sea wall under normal circumstances.

River Street, Haverhill

Trying to salvage the new bridge from Haverhill to Bradford.

Groveland Bridge — usually at least 20 feet above the water

Downtown Amesbury — usually a nice swift creek

The Riverwalk, Lowell — 10-20 above water normally

But as I look outside today, I can see the SUN!! I feel like stripping off all my clothes and dancing around in the sun like the pagan hippie I really am. If you see a crazed naked woman in Kendall Square today, it’s probably me.

I was stuck in the house on Sunday, preparing for a nasty medical exam, so I played the avoidance game and crafted like a maniac.

I finished piecing the center panel of the Puma quilt. I still have to quilt it, but here’s the basic design alongside the original photo I was given.

I made a knitting notions bag.

And I made a knitting bag from a recycled thrift store sweater. I originally intended for the thrifty sweater to be ripped apart for the yarn, because I wanted to make a sweater for Little Man with this cornflower blue that matches his eyes exactly. But the fabric was too felted to be easily ripped apart, so I threw it in the washer and felted the thing within an inch of it’s life. And now it’s a bag.

Thankfully I got all this done because the nasty medical exam knocked me on my ass yesterday. The lovely cocktail of drugs I was given made the exam a whole lot less nasty, but I slept from 12 noon yesterday until 6am this morning. Yes, you read that right. I slept for 18 hours. And I’m still very foggy. I’m a terrible employee today.

At some point on Sunday morning, I heard Wifey and Little Man chanting “up, down, up, down” and wondered what they were doing. But sleepiness prevailed and I dozed off again. Some time later, Little Man climbed into bed with me, snuggled into my neck, kissed me, and said, “Look Mommy! Look what I did!” and handed me this card.

Only then did I realize that “up, down, up, down” was the chant for drawing an M. Isn’t he the smartest nearly 3 year old in the whole wide world??