Zoe Mellor — Bite Me!
February 25, 2006
I’m beginning to understand Grumperina’s frustrations with pattern writers. I’ve been working at the Zoe Mellor “Chunky Cabled Sweater” from Adorable Knits for Tots for several months (6, on an off?). Within 4 inches of the start, I realized the center cable was completely and totally wrong. As my first real cable project, I wondered if it was me. Nope, it wasn’t. Then I tried three different cable designs until I came up with something suitable. After I completed the back, I realized that it wasn’t a perfect fix. Grrr. But I didn’t want to start over, so I decided to accept the less-than-perfect solution (story of my life …) and knit the front with the same cable.
When I started the sleeves, I thought I’d try a slightly different cable to see if I could match the cable in the photos. Noone would notice a tiny change in the cable between the sleeves and the body, right? About 4 inches into that I realized I was making a stupid amateurish error and only increasing on one side of the sleeves. Stupid. I ripped. After a couple days of train rides and SnBs, I got a couple more inches done. And I cheered at the center cable - it finally matched the photos perfectly.
Today, through the miracle of snow, Wifey’s nose in a good book, and Little Man’s growing ability to play by himself, I was able to spend the better part of the afternoon knitting. With the smell of Olympic Gold wafting about my living room, I got to 8 inches (out of 9 1/2) and realized the increases weren’t happening quickly enough. I went back and read the pattern for the 10,000th time and realized that I was supposed to increase 1 stitch on EACH side of each 4th row. I was only increasing 1 stitch on ONE side of each 4th row. Fuck.Fuck.FuckityFuck. I am SO PISSED!
I know I can’t blame this last error on Zoe Mellor, but if they had published a chart, it would have been obvious long ago. I would’ve noticed that my row count wasn’t accurate on row 8 instead of INCH 8!! Is it too much to expect a chart for a pattern that includes a dense center cable, 6 twists, 4 4-st cables and endless seed stitch on each piece?
So alas, I’ve given up my dreams of Olympic glory. I won’t be getting a gold medal in the individual competition. Good thing I never actually registered as an individual. But I’ll get a gold in the team competition for sure.
I’m off to FFFFRRRRROOOOOOGGGG! damn.
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1.
M. | February 25, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Oh, ugh. (Though will you kill me if I tell you I feel slightly better knowing that I’m not the only making asshat mistakes?)
2.
Beth S. | February 26, 2006 at 3:06 am
Hey, the Olympics aren’t over yet… it could still happen!
BTW are you done teaching the Big Scary Class yet?
3.
Emily | February 26, 2006 at 5:59 am
C.R.A.P. I feel your pain. I have started to believe in the idea of charting out a whole garment. That sweater is so cute though…. it will be worth it when it is finished.
4.
Thorny | February 26, 2006 at 8:29 am
As Emily said - it’s a good thing it’s a really cute pattern. Dayamn.
I too am starting to believe in charting out a whole garment. Well, for me, because charts make my front lobe bleed, I write them out. But still, the point remains the same - work out the whole thing in a way that’s going to make sense for you, and THEN knit the fucker. Erm, the charming lovely woolly garment. That’s what I meant. grin.
(Okay, my veri-word thing is “whkrodna”, and normally I don’t notice those things, but that totally sounds like a Klingon swear to me. A really narsty one. Yes, I’ll go sit in the Total Dork Corner now. Sorry.
)
5.
CarryFairie | February 26, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Oooohhhh, that really sucks, especially when an error in the pattern makes you question yourself.
Don’t feel too bad if you don’t reach Olympic Gold, you won’t be alone. I SO overestimated my ability and time to be able to accomplish my vest. Though I feel I really stepped up to the challenge, my first fair isle is turning out nice, if not fast.
But you still have today, I have confidence in you!
6.
Rhonda | February 27, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Oh WOW, I DO feel your pain. As you know, I struggled near the end also. But with TWO minutes to spare I got those dam buttons on … and even got the button holes on the correct side for a woman … WOULD U BELIEVE IT? See you at noon.
7.
Anonymous | January 31, 2007 at 4:30 pm
I totally empathise. I’ve started that same pattern and realised about 10 lines into it that the centre cable was wrong. I had a suspicion about the 6th row of the pattern from the beginning and turns out it’s supposed to read “6th row: As 2nd Row”, not 4th row, as in the book. I’ve ripped back and now it’s working out great. Zoe Mellor doesn’t seem to have a website like other designers. I’ve found a page on Debbie Bliss’s website with pattern corrections from her books.