FemiKnitMafia

Holy shit. I just got an email from an old ‘flame’ (who played cello at our wedding [silly lesbians]). She sent this link to her debut TV performance on CONAN! Holy shit. For the lesbos in the group, pay special attention at the 2 minute mark and the 3:10 minute mark.

Ok, so it’s Thursday and I’m still writing about last weekend. Flakyflakymommy.

Little Man’s costume is about 1/2 finished. I completed the ‘jumpsuit’ and the hood, but no embellishments as of yet. I would post a picture, but how cute is a lime green hooded jumpsuit and on a 2 year old? Not so much.

As previously mentioned, I had a rockin’ time with Roo, Ms. G and her HipHubby. There are photos here. So much fun! Now that the Baby-Joey gift has been given, I can officially show pictures of my secret August/September project:

Ta-da! HUGE thanks to Danielle for giving me a pile of leftover Cotton Ease.

SPECS:
YARN: Cotton Ease,
NEEDLES: size 4 Addis,
PATTERN: Hat with Ear Flaps and Simple Raglan Sweater from Debbie Bliss’s Baby Knits book.
THOUGHTS: I didn’t like the rolling collar and sleeves, so I substituted seed stitch bands all around. I’m not sure about the ear flaps. They don’t seem to be in the right place, but we’ll see how the hat fits Joey when he makes his worldly debut.

Roo’s BFF “Boo,” writing here at Trollspotting bought Little Man and Ms. G matching T-shirts a couple months ago while spending the weekend in Provincetown. PTown is such a beautiful place, and inspires queer websites, women’s websites and countless others. So it should surprise no one that our WeeOnes now have these t-shirts, courtesy of hilarious Uncle Boo.

I didn’t work on Monday, and I make a teeny nod to our ancestral conquerer in thanks for the day off. I make a huge loopy nod in thanks for allowing me to finally schedule a time to meet Alison. A very impressive sweater was worn. There was much talk of politics and religion and our backgrounds and morning pastry, and current jobs and on and on. It’s been a very long time since I’ve spent 2 hours with a virtual stranger, but it was so easy. Let’s do that again soon, k?

Hanging out with Alison was also my first intentional knit-blogger meeting. I was convinced that MamaCate would be my first, but alas, our schedules aren’t cooperating. Oh yeah, and she’s going to that silly little event Rhinebeck this weekend. Clearly she won’t have any fun, she won’t meet any knitters, she’ll slog through inches of mud in smelly rubber boots, and the heaps of fleece will be impossibly scratchy. I’m not jealous! Am not. I drive west, and she drives further west. Hmmmm…do I sense a pattern here? Soon, MamaCate, soon. You are taking me to Webs and we’ll ‘talk shop’, ok? In the meantime, double up the VitC and Echinacea and feel better.

I am so amused by this meme, thanks to Anna. You simply type “[your name] needs” into Google and pick the best hits.

The Mafia needs:
… a receptionist
… an urgent ruthless purge
… effective anti-virus and anti-spam too
… to come up with an alternative reality
… a safe home and a diaspora
… allied Chinese and South Korean officers
… a new puppet
… two goons, a good lawyer and a driveby shooter/driver
… a mascot
… a real ghetto ride
… a wisecracking malcontent
… a fairy godmother

[ and my personal favorite ]

… to wear bows in their hair

It’s the Big 3-0! tee-hee. Fortunately there are no identity crises in our house today. Wifey is very zen about moving into a new decade. So … hats off to the yarn-bouquet-gift-givin’-lady of my house. And trust me when I say … there’s only one lady in my house. Even the cats are bitches.

I’m a bad bad wife. Today is the anniversary of my illegal real marriage, and here I am talking about Alexis Stewart. Well … after four years of marriage, one child and several relocations, Wifey isn’t too worried about A.S.

Tonight we ate Thai (my fav) with Little Man. He was the only little child in the restaurant and was Mr. Polite. Please, thank you, quiet voice, etc. He’s the best.

Tonight I ask that my few readers raise a glass to 4 more years with Mrs. Mafia. She’s the best.

Yes, I’m the one in the custom-made white satin suit with tails to the ground.

Is it wrong that I think that Alexis Stewart is wicked hot? She’s strong, opinionated, and has a cute lesbian haircut. I am shocked that she’s 40 years old, and also shocked that she’s about to be divorced.

Hey Alexis — I’d happily iron your linens and roll your prosciutto.

Clearly folks believe that I should share the wealth with Wifey. Alright. But I’m really hoping that the voters for option #3 (replace pants, buy practical clogs and share with Wifey) pull off a win in the end. I’d really like new clogs …

Crafty crafty weekend. Hooray. First of all, I spent some serious QT with Roo this morning while the kids ran around, trashed her house, made a huge pile of fleece and jumped from the bottom step onto the pile. They laughed hysterically for about an hour and we happily knit on the couch. Meanwhile … her hubby, a most excellent kind-hearted, music-playing, quilt-making, army guy (I know, I know … he defies all stereotypes, which is a big part of why I adore him), asked me to teach him to knit. Roo scrounged up some fat needles and some pumpkin Wool Ease, and I taught him to knit!! We started out with English, but after about 10 rows, I realized that I should teach him Continental. He did really well. Was a total natural. By the way John, if you run into trouble, this is a great source for knitting videos: Knitting Help.

My big goal for the weekend is to wave my wand over this random stuff:

and turn it into Little Man’s costume (sans crown):

Wish me luck!

Wow! The People’s Republic of Cambridge is very responsive. I got a call from Public Works within a couple hours. I got a call from the Mayor’s office within a day. The Galaxy sculpture was roped off like a scene from Law and Order. Within two days, I had tracked down the responsible party (Boston Properties) and secured a promise of reimbursement. You know what that means? NEW CLOGS!!

Here’s the big question — should I be practical and buy brown (to match my blue work pants) or buy a fun color or style because this is a little windfall? Or should I combine the two perspectives and buy simultaneously brown/practical and fun/mary janes/embroidered? Or should I get Dykey-Dansko like the Jolie or the Melodie??

Or should I share some of the windfall with Wifey, who is an unemployed SAHM and hasn’t seen a windfall in a long time?

Perhaps I should create my first blog poll? Ohh … fun! Here goes:

Sent: Tuesday, October 04, 2005 2:26 PM
To: jweeks@cambridgema.gov; lhsu@cambridgema.gov;
hyngvason@cambridgema.gov; ggarber@cambridgema.gov;
mayor@cambridgema.gov
Subject: wet paint in Kendall Sq.

TO:
Michael Sullivan, Mayor of Cambridge
Greg Garber, Superintendent of Parks and Urban Forestry, Cambridge
Department of Public Works
Jason Weeks, Executive Director, Cambridge Arts Council
Hafthor Yngvason, Director of Public Art
Lillian Hsu, Public Art Administrator

As an MIT employee, I appreciate and regularly use the parks around MIT during my lunch hour. However, today I had a horrible experience at the “galaxy” sculpture in Kendall Square.

I sat on one of the silver benches that surround the sculpture, not realizing that the bench was recently re-painted. There were absolutely no signs indicating, “wet paint.” I wore black dress pants to work today, and I walked away with silver stripes all over my back side.

Go ahead, laugh. It’s OK.

However, when you are finished laughing, please contact me about how this happened in the first place, and how you can ensure that it will never happen again. My contact information is listed below. I also expect to be reimbursed for the cost of replacing my pants, and would appreciate a swift reimbursement.

Thank you,

P.S. For proof, I have attached a charming photo of my striped rear end.
–

** UPDATE **
Additionally, I just discovered paint all over my Dansko clogs. Please contact me about prompt reimbursement.

As the Yarn Harlot likes to say, knitters are nice people. So I don’t usually worry about politics when I’m in the presence of other knitters. But my worlds collided yesterday when I spotted a big “Stop Abortion Now” sign on the Common. I later discovered that Massachusetts Citizens for Life were demonstrating their evil ways on the Common at the same time as the KnitOut. ahh!

With my blood pressure already on the rise from the stupid sign, I watched Ray Flynn and his wife stroll past me in their Sunday best. Smoke poured from my ears. My cheeks turned beet red. My Danskos got twitchy. I later discovered that Flynnazi was strolling back from Mass at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross where Archbishop O’Malley was actively recruiting parishioners to sign a petition to put another anti-gay constitutional amendment on the ballot. With politics at the pulpit, can someone tell me why these people still have tax-free status?? Flynnazi has this to say to the Boston Globe:

”…it’s for children and it’s for the stability of marriage…” said Raymond L. Flynn, a former mayor of Boston and Vatican ambassador whose name appears on the petition as one of its chief sponsors.

Yep, there I am … standing on the Boston Common with my fingers wrapped around the stroller handles and turning my fair Little Man away from the sun … I’m evil. FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckYou! There … now I’m evil.

Try as I might to ignore it, I couldn’t stop thinking about the stark differences between us fiber folks and those scary folks. Yes, I understand that some knitters might be anti-choice or anti-gay [gasp!]. But they chose fiber over hatred. That’s OK with me. I was having a hard time separating my fiber from my hatred. Oops … did I say that out loud?

So I exacted the only revenge I could in order to protect Little Man from the image of his Mafia-Mom in a fist fight with an 60 year old white man.

Formula: 1 polite Mafia+first day of period+intestinal disturbance = 1 belly FULL of gas and 1 tired anal sphincter.
Enter Mass Citizens for Life, who completely surrounded me on the Orange Line train:

EQUALS ===
1 disturbingly stinking ride for the bigots and one smirking Mafia.